Guess how many
people at the Oakwood hotel practice gym etiquette? One. It's me.
Out of all of
these people and their varying nationalities, not one of them understands the
concept of working in, being conscious of someone's space when they're lifting,
or just plain old, waiting your fucking turn.
The other week, I
watched a guy doing deadlifts set down his bar to rest. He walked away for
about 30 seconds, when another guy walks into the gym, picks up the bar and
dumps the weights off right onto the floor and starts using the bar himself!
The bar was laying in the middle of the gym where it would only lay ONLY IF
SOMEONE WAS USING IT! I stood there wide-eyed with my mouth to the floor. I
totally would have words with that dude. Regardless of whether or not he could
speak or understand English, there would have been words, and he would have
clearly understood my message.
I was doing bench
presses a few nights ago and had a guy doing side raises right next to the bar
where I was benching. The space we have isn't huge, but what the fuck, just
move over 3 feet so I don't hit you and you don't hit me. Btw, if I recall, I
was here first.
I'm pretty much
the strongest person in the entire hotel except for these two guys I've dubbed
Hans and Franz, and they both wear matching neon green Lotto soccer shoes.
They're all juiced up, but their workouts routines consist of shit I did in
high school. One night I watched another guy do what looked like Tae-bo. He was
jumping all around and kicking and punching the air. I actually laughed out
loud at him at one point when it got real ridiculous. He was like a Swedish
Tae-bo ninja.
They stare at me
like I'm an absolute lunatic. I had a guy tell me as I was in the middle of
doing ladder push-ups (8x, 10x, 15x, 15x, 10x, 8x) that he "was surprised
to see me doing push-up and also that I could do so many, because girls cannot
do push-up." (Read that quote like I'm doing a Swedish accent or
something)
Umm excuse me?
Did you not just
watch me do 66 push-ups?
Girls can do
push-ups.
P.S. I'm a lot
bigger than you so watch it.
You know what
though, after thinking about it, the women who work out here are terrible, so
what does he even know? They're all decked out in their brand new Adidas
outfits hopping from one cardio machine to the other.
And speaking of
terrible women athletes (if you can call anyone in this gym an athlete), let us
not forget about the girl I watched fall off the treadmill, roll off onto the
floor and laugh because she fell, then forget that the treadmill was still
running as she stepped back on and was promptly launched off again. I will
forever have her reaction and the face she made during and post-fall stamped
into my mind. I never want to forget that moment for as long as I live.
As much as I hate the lack of self awareness of the
foreigners at this gym (in a hotel...in China), I am very fortunate enough that
it is so well-equipped and extremely clean. It has definitely made my stay
easier and more like home. However, I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't
excited to return to my meathead haven where girls that do push-ups in cut up
t-shirts are acceptable, and I am just one of the guys.
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