I've also decided that one child should be sacrificed on the baggage claim conveyor belt to "prove a point" to all other children in the airport. Seriously people, your kid is 40lbs soaking wet and he cannot pick up your 50lb international travel suitcase, get him the hell out of the way of everyone trying to get their bags! Why do people think it's ok to let their kids act like monkeys on a jungle gym? I would have done that for 5 seconds and my father would have given me the eye and a very fierce point to a seating area and I immedaitely knew what was in store if I didn't obey. Kids in airports are like animals, climbing on stuff, yelling and crying for no reason, they should be put in the cargo hold when taking a plane ride. I like to think of it as a "plane nurshery", it would certainly cut down on the noise situation.
So my flight to Rome was great. I sat next to a girl that seemed really nice and we spoke about 5 words to each other in the 8 hour flight. She was totally my kind of plane companion, we smiled, said hello to each other, she helped the flight attendant hand me my water and tea, we both got the pasta dinner choice together...we were a match made in US Airways heaven. My second flight from Rome to Naples was ok, but I had the pleasure of sitting in front of a screaming child who kicked my seat like he was training to be an MMA fighter. Now most of you know my dislike for small children, well this kid should have been wearing a crown that said, "When I get big, I'm going to be a total jerk." He was ridiculously misbehaved. I waited for a while and didn't do anything hoping that he would calm down, but when the kicking kept happening 5 minutes later I turned around. Well turning around did not help, so I waited another 5 minutes while receiving jabs and uppercuts through the seat and then did a second turnaround which involved a stand up and a piercing glare right through the father's eyes. I win, Junior was real good until we landed and then he just acted up again while at baggage claim. In fact, he was so loud that I received texts from Brenda who was standing outside of baggage claim in another area saying, "I hope that screaming kid is not near you". Little did she know!
I was pretty nervous about my bag arriving, (US Airways being such a top-notch airline), but it did. So other than sitting in front of Satan's spawn on my second flight, my travel was really good. So I grab my bag and come out to meet Brenda and we head to where she parked in a special military section (the CAPO or something like that). Now, I can't go with her because I don't have a military pass to get through the gate, so she goes and gets the car and comes back to pick me up. I just about peed my pants when she rolls up in her new wheels. This car, AKA Posh, is the equivalent to riding in a rollerskate, it's hilarious.
We drive to where Brenda and Taylor are living, I get a pass to be on base and now we're ready to roll. Brenda has planned an "excursion" for us so I grab a quick shower and she and I (and Posh) head off. Now Posh's top speed is probably 55mph and that's if we're going downhill. We are getting passed like it's the Indy 500 and we're driving in reverse. The Italians ride your bumper, flash their lights and honk at you in you're in their way...I love people that are efficient when driving, I would be an awesome driver over here. The roads over here are nuts (to stay the least) and you can read the sign for your exit pretty much as you're passing it, but we make it to the place. We roll up in this parking lot and the first thing I see is a sign that says American Bar...I start cracking up and I'm like, Ahh you're not taking me there are you?! Unfortunately I did not get to experience the American Bar, but we walked into a spa and Brenda got the both of us hour long massages by these awesome masseuses (wait, can you make the word the word masseuse plural? is masseuses actually a word? ahh whatever...) so these women know barely any English and Brenda can speak some Italian and she can understand what's going on while I just stand there like an idiot and just nod and smile. These women keep saying something back and forth to each other about something being too hot. So we change, throw on some robes and they put us in a really nice room with champagne and dolce (really good desserts and lots of chocolatey goodness). We're sitting there eating and drinking and we instantly start sweating our asses off. This is when we realize that we're in a sauna and now we've guzzled the champagne because the sauna is making us thirsty. The heat finally gets unbearable and we come out to get the girl to tell her we're done. Well now, let me tell you, when you get a massage in Naples, Italy, it is not like getting a massage back home. Brenda and I are sitting there pretty much butt-ass naked with a divider in between us. We're a little unsure of how this works seeing that we're sitting there lying face up because the underwear they gave us is basically non-existant. So I'm thinking to myself, ok, do I show this woman my boobs or my butt...what would she rather see first? Awkward!!! Awkwardness aside, it was a fabulous massage, the best one I have ever had!
After the massages we came back home and went out to dinner...took a little detour along the way which was quite an adventure driving through the downtown area we're near. It kind of reminds me of the driving scenes in the Bourne movies. We went out to a great dinner in town at a place called PanArt and then came home and went to bed for our early wakeup at Pompei. I slept like a rock and 8am came waaaay too soon!
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